ESSENTIAL TWO​

2. We will CONNECT – we will not live alone – we will continue to buildstrong friendships – we will stay connected and encourage each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Consider this African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.”

 

Let’s begin with two examples from the material universe.

 

Nothing exists by itself. Consider the basic building block of the universe – the atom. In every atom, particles are all connected. Each atom is its own universe of connected elements. God has created the world to be connected.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love the picture of how geese fly together. They rarely (if ever) fly alone. We should learn from them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since I love cycling, consider this picture of a cycling peloton and the following chart showing the percentages of wind resistance and energy spent or saved depending on the rider’s position in the peloton. 

 

Notice the importance of the rider being connected and how being connected (drafting) is a decided advantage for the cyclist following someone ahead. Look at the advantages of riding together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning from the examples of the atom, geese, and the peloton, what is the value of “doing life” with friends? What other examples from the world around us might illustrate the truth of doing life “together”?

 

Let’s consider some basic Scriptures that speak to the importance of connectedness and strong friendships

 

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?  And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart (Ecclesiastes 4.9-12).

 

Life God’s way means a life of solid friendships. What is the value of strong, personal friendships according to the above verses? In what ways are strong friendships still essential in our aging years?

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Iron sharpens iron,

So one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27.17).

 

A friend loves at all times,

And a brother is born for adversity (Proverbs 17.17).

 

Friendships and connectedness really are the strength of the church. They are also the strength for living life well. Why? 

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And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near (Hebrews 10.24-25).

 

How is the writer of Hebrews calling us to be connected in these verses? What might the writer mean by using the word “stimulate”?

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Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12.1,2).  

 

Think about the plural pronouns used here and the impact of these two verses on “being connected.” 

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In terms of the sociology of aging people, gerontologists Antonucci and Akiyama use the term “convoy” to describe the importance of connectedness in the aging years. Reflect on this paragraph.

 

“The Convoy Model of Social Relations calls for radical friendship in every community.  The term convoy is used to evoke the image of a protective layer, in this case, of family, friends, & colleagues who surround us and help us to negotiate life’s many challenges and opportunities. Each of us, if we are fortunate, are moving through life surrounded and supported by a group of people with whom we receive and give support.  I think our convoys are dynamic and, if we are fortunate, lifelong in nature, changing in some ways but remaining stable in other ways across time and situations. I have a rich convoy or a band of brothers and sisters, consisting of family, trusted old friends from childhood, fraternity brothers, military friends, academic colleagues, students, and even Narnia-like creatures.” (Taken from “The Social Networks in Adult Life and a Preliminary Examination of the Convoy Model,” Toni C. Antonucci, Hiroko Akiyama Journal of Gerontology, Volume 42, Issue 5, September 1987, Pages 519–527).

 

What does the term “convoy” bring to mind with respect to “connectedness”? When you see a convoy, what descriptive words come to mind? 

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Consider this paragraph from Jim Stump.

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“You and I are hardwired for relationships. We were created by God to love and to be loved by others. We were created for much more than casual friendships or acquaintances. We need deep and meaningful relationships with those God has put into our lives. We need people who will walk with us through the ups and downs of life, who will be there for us when times get tough, and who will look to us for help and support in their own struggles.

We need people who will intentionally invest in our lives. People who will pray for us when we are sick, counsel us when we’re confused, laugh with us when we are happy, defend us when we’re under fire, and offer a shoulder to cry on when life gets hard and cumbersome. People who will always be there for us, no matter what. People who need us as much as much as we need them” (Jim Stump, The Power of One-On-One: Discovering the Joy and Satisfaction of Mentoring Others, p.141).

 

Jesus placed a high value on friendships and being connected. He modeled it for us.

 

No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you (John 15.15).

 

How does this verse speak to being connected? How do you share the core issues of your heart with close friends? How did Jesus do it? How did He share His life?

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And He appointed twelve, so that they would be with Him and that he could send them out to preach (Mark 3.14).

 

Why did Jesus choose 12 men to do life together? What did He desire and intend for them learn by being with Him?

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The human body is connected. No one part or cell (except cancer cells) lives by and for itself. Ever! The spiritual Body (the church) is connected. Why is this verse important with respect to being connected to each other? Are we more connected or less connected as we age? Why does the world of aging people tend to grow smaller?

 

For just as we have many members in one body members and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another (Romans 12.4,5).

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Let’s think through some practical insights to reflect on the importance of being connected with others. What comes to mind as you think about being CONNECTED along with BARRIERS. Imagine this as a white board. 

 

CONNECTED                                                   BARRIERS

 

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How might Satan work through the above barriers to keep us from being connected?

 

Discussion Questions

What does it mean to be a life-long connector?

Does the aging process work against connecting? 

How might retirement impact connecting with others?

How can we encourage each other to keep building strong friendships?

How can we share this information with others?

What are your take-a-ways from this session?

 

A Prayer for Continued Friendships

Lord, I long for continued, deep personal friendships. Help me to continually reach out and engage others. Help me to keep investing into others. We need encouragement from others. Please don’t let me become isolated in my aging years. Open my heart to even new friendships that You desire to bring into my life at this season in life. In Jesus name, Amen.