Episode 5: Six Essentials for Finishing Well - #3 LOVE

Dr Randy Hess: 0:08
Hello, everyone, welcome to the finishing well podcast, where we encourage seasoned believers to find meaningful ways to impact their world for the kingdom of God. I'm Randy Hess. And I'm with the founder of finishing well, ministries. How habecker Hey, how? Good morning,
Dr Hal Habecker: 0:30
Randy, it's great to be with you this morning. I love doing these and hope we can help people grow as they engage with the mission of finishing well, ministry fulfilling God's plan for our aging retirement years. What does God have for us? You know, we've been working on the six essentials for finishing well, the first one was to keep growing. The second one was to keep connecting, looking at relationships. And today I want to look at our third essential, which is I will care I will love we will be there for others in their needs. We will love one another each other as Jesus loved us. That's the mission or today's third essential.
Dr Randy Hess: 1:18
That seems like palette, there's, if there is a critical element to your message, that certainly has to be it.
Dr Hal Habecker: 1:27
I think all these messages really revolve around Christ. And what he means to us were were followers of Christ were disciples of his. So at every point in our life, we're learning to be like him. That's why he claimed our lives. That's why he laid hold of us. Philippians three. So today's focus is on what it means to love others and really care for them. Randy, I look forward to getting into this with you.
Dr Randy Hess: 1:54
Yeah, I do, too. How could you just give a little bit more of your thinking around why this was one of the keys one of the keys to finishing? Well, as you as you put the essentials together?
Dr Hal Habecker: 2:08
Well, yeah, I'd love to Randy. You know, it comes to me from Jesus example. Uh, you know, you have the Old Testament background, the two great commandments are to love God with our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbors ourselves. But what I see in Jesus life, I see him taking us to the heart of the issue. What does it really mean to love God with all your heart? So in mind, what does it really mean to love your neighbor as yourself. So in this third essential, Jesus is drilling down on what that really means. And I think he's taken it a step further, let me put it in the biblical context. And John 1334, and 35, Jesus says this, A new commandment I give you that you love one another as I have loved you. Now that's deeper than loving your neighbor as yourself, that is loving others the way Jesus loved us. And then he adds this next phrase in verse 35, By this all men, and that's not just people around you as Christians and your body of Christ or whatever your local church. But by this, all men will know that you're my disciples, if you have love, like Jesus love for one another. So that sets the stage in a in a new way that we don't often think about relating with others. Does that make sense? Randy
Dr Randy Hess: 3:32
does how it does. And it also, I think, brings home a point that I may be missing some things around me, I may be missing how I'm actually relating to people. So this is, this seems to me like a just, if we want to call them essentials, this is the essential of all essentials to me.
Dr Hal Habecker: 3:59
Well, I would agree with you. Because if you're going to love somebody from the heart and love them, like Jesus loves you and me. You know, it means we got to pay attention to people around us. We can't be casual. I mean, this is not just well, if I have time to do it, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't. Who cares? Nobody knows. Ah, this is drilling down on the importance of other people in our lives that Jesus wants us to pay attention to.
Dr Randy Hess: 4:30
And that's hard for some I know how, possibly, maybe many to, to get their arms around, if you will, because their lives are already consumed by their care for or their issues with or their struggles with what's going on in their own life. And so it sounds like you're saying, I don't want you due to neglect yourself to the point where you let things go, you should take care of for yourself. But you have to tune in into a different wavelength you do and
Dr Hal Habecker: 5:13
let me just say, a basic element here for me personally and for what I think this topic means. I have a friend, he says you gotta be a missionary to yourself, before you can be a missionary to others. So I mean, this relates to our topic of reaching out. So one things I remind myself of every day is how much did Jesus love me? What did he do to show me that he loves me? Well, ultimately, he lays his life down for me, he sees needs that I have, he pays attention to them, he answers my prayers. He is completely absorbed with his love for me. It's not conditional. He loves me as I am. And he reaches into my life trying to remind me of that truth every day. Regardless of what other people around me do. My wife, my kids, my friends, my neighbors, people in church, it simply doesn't matter. I'm, I'm deeply focused and thrilled with the attention God has for me, personally. So then I take that because I mean, by the way, if I lose that I have no real capacity to love others, because I'm consumed more with my own issues. But if I know that Jesus loves me, and I'm secure in him, that's why he made me that's why I am his, that I have a platform with which to engage other people. But those two always have to go together. And my foundation for life is how Jesus loves me. Does that make sense?
Dr Randy Hess: 6:41
It does. And it sounds like you're saying to us, I grasp it a little bit, that, that if, as we think about our lives, and how we have been blessed, if we think we have been blessed, then we're talking about recognizing that and trying to help bless others. And share the blessing, so to speak with, with those who may have some needs. Am I right on that.
Dr Hal Habecker: 7:09
But I think you're precisely right, Randy. And again, I want to go back to Jesus, he's my reference point. For us as followers of Christ, he's our reference point for everything, we want to start and end with him. So I look at his life, what did he do? He went about doing good. He paid attention to people's needs, whether it was a touch of healing, just a momentary thing, a few seconds, and then he was gone. Or a longer engagement, he paid attention to other people, and he gave himself to meet their needs. And he was following his father's impulse in his life. So that's what he did. So and I think that's our platform for each other as we move about in life. We're constantly thinking, constantly processing, where are other people? And how can we show them our love and Christ's love?
Dr Randy Hess: 8:03
And are we doing that how, because we were trying to work our way into heaven.
Dr Hal Habecker: 8:08
Heavens, no. And that's why I wanted to begin with, I'm completely absorbed with how awesome Jesus love is for me, it's non conditional. It's through His grace that He loves me, for I'm saved by faith through grace, not of your works, I don't do anything to deserve this, I don't do anything to change his love for me. So when I move around with other people, they don't have to do anything to change my love for them, because I love them unconditionally, just as Jesus loves me unconditionally. So that's where I start. So again, I'm always looking at people's needs. And again, I can't meet everybody's needs. So I'm not evaluating myself on my ability to meet everybody's needs. I can't Jesus and a loved one who can do that. But he has put me in people's lives to pay attention to them, and to encourage them.
Dr Randy Hess: 9:02
am I serving them out of my heart? How that this is? This is the spirit in me that is bringing out the desire to reach out to somebody and to and to give them a helping hand to so called lift them up. Is it is it rather than a commanded work to get my way into heaven?
Dr Hal Habecker: 9:29
Well, it's not a performance deal. So I can't work my way into heaven.
Dr Randy Hess: 9:33
I mean, yeah,
Dr Hal Habecker: 9:34
I can't. No, I can't be like Jesus. I can't be perfect like him. But let me tell you, you mentioned the Holy Spirit. Jesus tells His disciples in the upper room discourse, I'm going to send the Holy Spirit to teach you about me. So as I go through life, the Holy Spirit is leading my mind leading my heart leading my emotions, leading my sensitivities, to put me in a place position to meet others people, other people's needs. My wife's my kids, my grandkids, people around me, church, people in my neighborhood, wherever I go, people I happen to meet in a restaurant. You know, the Holy Spirit leads me just like he led Jesus. Just like the Spirit of Jesus paid attention to his father. So Jesus gives me his Holy Spirit, not a performance, do I have to do this? I have to obey Jesus. As what he asked me. No. I'm free to give my life away, just like Jesus was free to give his life away.
Dr Randy Hess: 10:38
Yeah, that I think I'm glad you said that. That brings it home even more to me. You know,
Dr Hal Habecker: 10:44
another thing I want to say, Randy, and we can go down this fact. What does this actually look like in life? Yeah, well, I think it's paying attention to the needs people have in life. For example, let me give you the simple example of encouraging others. You know, Jesus life could be summed up as a as the one who gave eternal encouragement to everybody he meant, you know, I just think of the simple principle of encouraging people, you know, how much do I encourage my wife? How much do I encourage my adult kids? You know, one of them lives in California to live here. How much do I? How much do I invest my life in encouraging them and knowing where they're at what they're gone through? How much do I say I love you, I appreciate you, you make a difference in my life. And I want to encourage you. So you're just looking to give out encouragement to other people. And I think about that amount spiritual life. If I know God loves me, and it's unconditional, he encourages me every day, every time I think about him, you know, my cup is filled. I mean, he loves me, it doesn't matter what I do, what I say how much I fail. He's in love with me, He gave His Son to give his life for me. And he's enamored with who I am. So Jesus has always encouraged me. And then a second thing is, as I'm with people, do I pick up a needs that they have? So how can I encourage people in their needs? Or can I do something tangibly to meet that need? You know, Jesus did give time to people, but he touched people, He healed people. He listened to people, he gave them time. So then I'm thinking, Well, what kind of need does that person have? What kind of need does my wife have, that I can meet? Knowing who she is because I've spent time listening to her focused on her. But so my kids, my Sunday school class, my life group that I teach, you know, other network people on my network, you know, our board, we had a board meeting the other night, you know, just paying attention to people where their needs what's going on in their lives? Do I listen? Do I follow up with a phone call? And you know, this can go on down the road? I mean, there's a lot of ways you can meet people's needs. Does that make sense? Randy?
Dr Randy Hess: 13:00
It does, it does. So it just resonates with me how that you are kind of banging a gong here that says that if I make even a minimal change in my radar, if you will, or Outlook toward other folks, that I begin to pick up signals about them. In other words, I don't have to overwork myself to do that I can almost do that casually, just in observing what's going on around me. And listening to people talk and listening to what they say to me. And I through that process, I can grasp needs that people have, that I might be able to speak into to help in some way. Is that a fair assessment of it, I have to get away from me first, to be able to listen to them. But once I start listening, I will hear things that show me what the needs are.
Dr Hal Habecker: 14:05
I think you're exactly right, Randy. I mean, people have needs all around us. And if I'm sensitive to them, if I if I begin my day asking God to lead me to meet people's needs and their lives, because that's really what it means to love me, you just don't say, Hey, I love you and don't do anything about it. I mean, there it has to be shown in some way, some tangible way. Let me give you another example that comes to me, my wife is really good at this. You know, she thinks of people she hasn't spoken with for a long time. And this, this makes a difference in COVID. And I mean, a long time, maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe a year, maybe you know some length of time, people who have made a difference in our lives. And how often do we love them back and make a quick phone call? I think on my wife on Mother's Day. There are about seven or eight women who have really poured their lives into her. And I remember on Mother's Day, she sat at a table on our patio, and just made a series of phone calls, 1520 minutes each for two or three hours, just telling people how much she thanked them and bless them for pouring their lives into her. And you know, that made incredible difference. I heard feedback from that, you know, hey, that meant more to me than you could ever imagine. So that's those are illustrations,
Dr Randy Hess: 15:28
I get the biggest kick out of my spouse as well how she sits at a table and writes notes to people. And she'll spend half a day doing that, I don't know how many notes go out, but I, I just scratch my head, I am not a note writer. So I feel then i After observing her do this for so many years, and some of the some of the results that that creates, it just makes me want to figure out how I can help do something like that, because people are just amazed that somebody wrote them a note that they cared about that person. And and that spark, if you want to call it of encouragement, just seems to happen. And they go, I really appreciate you thinking about me. I really appreciate it. I didn't even realize you were thinking about me. And I think there's lots of folks out there around each of us. I'm I'm not sure if I will say it's a multitude or not. But there's plenty of people around us, who we would encourage just by just by contacting probably would you say out in some form or fashion doesn't have to be a note. It doesn't have to be a phone call. It could be occasionally when you see them on in your neighborhood or on at the store, am I right? And just say hey, I've been thinking about you. How's it going? Why are you
Dr Hal Habecker: 17:10
you're so right, Randy, let me give you a couple quick examples of this. I was on a zoom call the other night with a bunch of other people. And there was one particular person that Zoom call that very openly express, they were going through a hard time. So I get off the Zoom call, do I want to pay attention anymore to that person? Or do I want to move off and say, hey, it's gonna take time to get involved with that person to send them a note of encouragement or whatever. So that's one thing. A second thing is in this world of COVID-19, how many people are isolated more than average more than ever? And are there people that God wants to sensitize to me, I need to make a phone call. There's a young friend of ours have begun are poor in our lives into them. They just had a third miscarriage. I mean, they were devastated. So how much did we go out of our way to encourage them and remind them that God has a purpose in their lives to grieve with them. So you there are all kinds of examples every day that we have to pursue? Now to think towards wrapping this up a little bit. You know, Jesus always pushes me. You know, Romans 829, the apostle Paul talks about being conformed to the image of His Son. So in these latter decades, these retirement years, you know, I want to say I have, I think one of the purposes of it, what needs to happen in these decades in these years, for the years I have left, to become more conformed to the image of Christ to grow up. So I think these are incredibly valuable years like Brownian says the grow old along with me, the best is yet to be I want to suggest these latter years, these latter decades of our lives, might be the best years ever, for maturing in Christ. We have the breadth of our lives behind us to see what God has done now we can begin to see what he still has yet to do it and the impact of our lives and I just think this third essential, I will care I will love I will be there for others in their needs. We will love each other as Christ commands us to love does that makes sense? Randy
Dr Randy Hess: 19:31
does it does. How what would you say if I kind of am listening and grasp that I think I could do more in the area of looking out for needs, maybe reaching out a little bit and caring for somebody. But my life is is consumed by other things. There's so many things that prevent us from I'm getting beyond what's going on in my life. Could you comment a little bit on some of the stuff that that that might hang us up from doing this? And what? How we might turn ourselves around a little bit in the way we look at our own busyness and our own life. Things come
Dr Hal Habecker: 20:18
to me. Number one, I Matthew 633. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, what am I focusing my life on? am I focusing my life on things that matter to me? And get in the way of what I want? Or am I focused on the kingdom of God? Jesus will his wish, his love for my life. I mean, I think of the Lord's Prayer, your kingdom come your will be done on earth. That is, what's my passion. And then I think of a verse like Philippians, four, six, Be anxious for nothing, what are the things that impede or get in the way of my being like Jesus, and to be honest, they're, they're usually things that affect us personally, physically, our ills, our challenges, our pains, you know, whatever they are our problems. COVID-19 I mean, living in fear or withdrawing or not wanting to get out. So then I hear the voice of Jesus saying, I want you to love others, as I have loved you. So I keep pushing myself, I feel the Spirit of God leading me encouraging me, nudging me on to be more like Christ during these important years. I think it's one of the great things about aging.
Dr Randy Hess: 21:41
What if I've tried and I, I feel like I've been rejected or kind of been blown off by the, by the recipient of it, saying, you know, I don't need your help. Thank you very much. And that sort of stood me back a little bit from from trying to do this, because I think other people are not going to receive my overture very well.
Dr Hal Habecker: 22:07
I hear what you're saying, Randy. And as we kind of wrap up this conversation today, I want to remind us all that doesn't change the way Jesus thinks about me. You know, for example, in the upper room discourse, feeders, and I love you, Lord, but Jesus says, Hey, Peter, you don't realize how weak you are. You know how into yourself you are, you're going to deny me three times tonight, you're going to focus on your own needs and what you want me to be and you're gonna go down a wrong way, track, so to speak. But I want you to know that I love you. So regardless of where you're at, personally, that goes back to where we started. Jesus loves me with a nine conditional love. The best thing I can do any day is remind me how important it is that Jesus loves me with an everlasting eternal love. And it has nothing to do with my performance in life. So I just want to keep following Jesus. And that's why, you know, in the last essential, we talked about the importance of connecting. So I've recently heard this, in a Bible study, I was leading in person by the way. One of the gentleman said to me, he said, I think we are the summation of our five best friends. So who are the people you're hanging out with who's encouraging you to get beyond yourself and to love others, as Jesus loved us and as he designed us to love so I think it's a this is a great essential, it pulls me out of where I am and it keeps my eyes focused on Jesus. And our prayer and finishing our ministries would be to encourage each other in these six essentials to grow well to connect well in this one to love well, just as Christ loves us so I bless our listeners today and keep tracking focused on Jesus with your life. Thanks for joining us today. You can hear this podcast or any of our podcasts that finishing well ministries dot o RG forward slash podcast, and have a blessed day